As I read through Dr. Jerram Barrs Learning Evangelism from Jesus I came to an understanding of a harsh reality in my life: I think more of myself than I do of Jesus. I trust more in my own self-righteousness than I do in Christ. I puff myself up with knowledge rather than letting the truth and grace of Christ be my witness. During my time in
Most of my life as a Christian could be categorized as that of a Pharisee. I care more about being seen as right and moral, often not based on the desire to obey God because of what He has done for me. Pharisees desired to serve God and deeply pursued righteousness, but unfortunately their hearts were not impacted with an understanding of God’s mercy towards sinners, nor did they realize they also needed God’s grace. They thought “Bad company corrupts good morals,” and therefore stayed as far away from sinners as possible. As I think back on my 8 years of being a Christian, I am ashamed to admit that I have been that way for the majority of the time. I rarely formed relationships with those who were outside of the church, fearing that they would rub off on me rather than trusting that God would be able to use me to show them the grace of Christ. When I did keep the company of non-Christians, I would often shower them with condemnation rather than with grace and mercy. My words were not seasoned with salt but rather with bitterness and judgment.
It is clear from Dr. Barrs’ book that Jesus cared deeply for people rather than keeping with social norms or cultural mandates. I often find myself making the excuse that He was able to care for people because He was God and I am not. But if I truly believed the Gospel, truly owned it, I too would care about people, rejoicing in who God has made them to be rather than merely seeing them as a sort of evangelistic project. The most important thing that I am taking away from this book, and also my time at Covenant so far, is how my life must change if I truly believed the Gospel. If I truly believed and owned the Gospel of grace how would my life be different? The greatest struggle I have as a Believer is being able to take what I know in my head, then owning it with my heart, and finally translating it into action and how I relate with people. Being able to see how Jesus interacted with everyone he came in contact with has shown me tangible ways of how I am to relate to people.
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